Quit your swining...

Hi! How are you? Are you going to get the H1N1 shot?

Lately, this is what passes for conversation. Never before have I used the words "shiraz" and "squalene" in the same sentence, but you asked what my weekend plans were...

Ah, vaccines. They kill us/save us, depending on who you ask. They are either the greatest example of medical advancement or proof of government conspiracy - pork barrel politics, if you will. I've heard the Illuminati are involved, but one can't be sure.

I have many conflicting emotions over this issue. I feel at once:

• concerned. I don't go looking for viruses just like I don't go looking for trouble. I avoid them like the plague! Sometimes, however, they find me, virus and trouble both. I'm concerned enough to keep hand sanitizer at the clinic front desk. I'm concerned enough that I wash my hands even more than normal, and then sometimes spray alcohol (rubbing, not schnapps) on them for good measure. I'm concerned enough that I've bookmarked this site, which tracks the number of deaths associated with H1N1 in Canada.

• skeptical. Did you click the link above? Uh...101? Out of 33,834,093 people? I am so sorry for each one of the victims and their families, but I wonder if we are exposed to more FEAR than virus?

• apathy. All the information and misinformation becomes jumbled in my brain, and then I remember that I do not currently have a flu, swine or not, and that to date, I don't think I've ever had a serious flu, of any combination of letters and numbers. I simply don't feel like I'm going to DIE from the FLU tomorrow, and so apathy sets in, and I admit I'm inclined to wait a bit, and see what happens.
  

• suspicion. Something's not kosher. Squalene in the vaccine... a few weeks of testing... deadly pandemic vs. mild flu variant... everyone either wants my money or my arm or my defiance.
  

• fear. I'm suddenly in the position of having to make a decision for another person. At 9 months old Oliver hasn't yet decided what he thinks of flus and vaccines and all things porcine. But he's awfully little, and I dislike the prospects of him facing such an intense virus and such an intense vaccine.

• phlegm. This isn't really an emotion per se, but Oliver and I have runny noses, and I'm loath to ask our bodies to fight an injected version of a virus (among other things) while we are currently fighting a virus. Give a body a break.

• ennui. Swine flu? H1N1 still? Isn't this soooo last spring? Can we get over this? Let's talk about something more current. Like the balloon boy.
  

• concern again. Sure, it's just a virus. But... it seems to be a fast virus. And an unpredictable virus. And a nasty virus. Fast, unpredictable and nasty, the kind a nice girl like me was told to stay away from.
  

So here we are. I'm still unsure of how my family will proceed, but we're formulating some plans. There are strong arguments on both sides of this issue, and I think in the long run we benefit by dispensing information and letting the individual decide what is best for themselves. Those who chose to vaccinate feel safe knowing that they are protected while contributing to 'herd immunity' (though the reference to 'herds' is a little touchy (incidentally, a herd of pigs is called a drove. Who knew?)). Those who decline the shot feel better about avoiding the less savoury vaccine ingredients (thimersol, squalene... yum!). We are all playing the numbers game, irrespective of which side we are on. And people aren't exactly dying in droves (catch that?).

Catch that?? The odds favour us, irrespective of what we do. Some people will have vaccine side effects. The vast majority will not. Some people will become seriously ill with H1N1. The vast majority will not.

The point is, we're going to be ok. Breathe. We. Are. Going. To. Be. OK. So make your decision using research and consideration and instinct, get on with your life, and quit swining about it!

Tick Talk

They say Time Heals All Wounds.

This prognosis makes me uneasy, both as a wordie (for lack of a better word) and a doctor, because a) I dislike cliches and 2) it's just a way of beating around the bush, no? Isn't this what we say when we don't know when a problem will go away, or even if? Romance gone awry, lingering injuries, problems big and small that we are powerless to mend. Just when you think you are out of options - don't despair! There is one thing you haven't tried - Time! And the good news? It has a 100% effectiveness rate!

Furthermore, there is absolutely nothing in the entire universe that I despise more than hyperbole. All wounds? Each and every one? I assume this extends beyond basic flesh wounds and lacerations, but to what end? Wounds in which salt has been rubbed? The walking wounded? A wounded heart? Does it matter if the heart was broken via love lost or arrhythmia? Dropsy? (Does anyone even get dropsy anymore?)

I say with confidence and authority that time most certainly does not heal all wounds. Like trepanation, reparative therapy and retail therapy, Time as a treatment modality is not guaranteed effective (though I once used retail therapy in the form of these shoes to cure a particularly stubborn cough*).And I wonder - are we ever fully healed from the things that affect us? My own back injuries have been treated and no longer impede me the way they once did, but I still bear the scar and my nerve will never be the same. Am I healed? Does being healed mean that all evidence is cleared? Or just that the symptoms are gone? We are remarkably markable, us humans. Our bodies remember. And if therapy and treatment and ice cream and love can't heal us, what makes us think that something so amorphous (and debatable!) as Time, will?

One of the most common things I hear in my office is "I thought it would go away". Or else the problem seemed to 'go away', but then came back, usually with a vengeance. This is the problem with waiting instead of treating; you risk making an acute and often simple problem into a chronic and complicated one. Scar tissue builds up, compensating muscles take over. Inflammation sets in, pain cycles develop. Sure, healing takes Time, but it also takes effort. And in my experience, waiting and seeing is rarely the best choice of (in)action. All chronic problems started out acute, and only worsened with Time. So much for its healing powers...

So what is it about Time that we have such faith in, anyway? And if it truly is such a miraculous healer, wouldn't someone besides Jim Croce have bottled it up and marketed the hell out of it?

(get it? Time in a bottle? I've been working on an ending for weeks... and all I can come up with is a 70s song reference. But the point stands - when injured, don't wait! Get treated!)



* results not typical

Gratuitous Baby Update

I'm working on posts relevant to this blog. I haven't forgotten why I started writing. Stay tuned for things chiropracticish... soon!

In the meantime... Oliver!

Does this Manifesto make my butt look big?

I went shopping for yoga pants the other day, at a certain overpriced and unnamed yoga pants emporium. And printed on their shopping bag, was the company Manifesto. While I appreciate their use of Lycra and respect their dedication to athletics, I am perplexed by their Manifesto. For starters, why does a clothing store need a Manifesto? And why does making fabulous pants that mold my rear in ways that yoga promised to but has not, make one an expert on life in general? Please understand, I need these pants, I LOVE these pants, among my wardrobe, these yoga pants shoulder stand alone. They are suitable for work and for work-out, and worth every one of the $10,000 pennies they cost. I'm sure the yoginis on the mountain tops will agree that they've, like, totally changed the sport of yoga, for sure.

But a Manifesto... really?

Quit playing philosopher. Nietzsche you ain't. Witness the following gems of wisdom I received, when all I wanted were well-fitting pants...:

"Breathe deeply and appreciate the moment. Living in the moment could be the meaning of life." Could be? A bit under-convincing, no? Hell, the pursuit of the perfect pair of comfortable but cute sandals could be the meaning of life. A manifesto should be definitive! I need answers!

"stress is related to 99% of all illness" While I don't doubt that stress negatively impacts the immune system and makes us vulnerable to illness, this is so obviously contrived. Besides, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.

"the pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness" Seeking joy is the source of misery? How depressing.

"Take various vitamins. You never know what small mineral can eliminate the bottleneck to everlasting health" Now really. Various vitamins? This is not a prescription for health. For starters, the prevailing concept of 'vitamins are good, so more vitamins must be better' is false. In fact, some vitamins negatively interact with certain conditions or medications. Also, vitamins in synthetic form are not the same as their natural counterparts. In vivo (fancy for 'in the living') vitamins interact with each other and cofactors and other stuff that I should have paid more attention to in biochemistry, whereas in pill form... well, it is processed by definition, hence, inferior. I believe in using vitamins as medicine - when needed and as needed. This careless advice is foolish, and if your health is so 'bottlenecked', then perhaps you need more than 'one small mineral' to lead you to 'everlasting health'. Bollocks.

"Don’t trust that an old age pension will be sufficient" - you are an accountant too? What can't you do?

"Children are the orgasm of life. Just like you did not know what an orgasm was before you had one, nature does not let you know how great children are until you have them". What? *blush*. I... I just wanted yoga pants?! Orgasm? I... uh... do you have these pants in a size orgasm i mean size 6? Does the person who wrote this have kids? Because I vow to never, EVER, refer to my child that way. I just... oh my.

"Communication is COMPLICATED. We are all raised in a different family with slightly different definitions of every word. An agreement is an agreement only if each party knows the conditions for satisfaction and a time is set for satisfaction to occur." Well. My brain officially hurts. I don't think we each have different definitions for every word, that certainly would make communication as COMPLICATED as they find it, since words would cease to have meaning, and THAT'S WHAT DICTIONARIES ARE FOR YOU CAN'T JUST DEFINE WORDS HOWEVER YOU WANT, EVEN IF YOU'VE STRETCHED THE DEFINITION OF YOGA PANTS TO MEAN SEMI-FORMAL WEAR. Hence, I disagree with your manifesto and don't anticipate being satisfied at any time in the future.

An eco-friendly shopping bag is a powerful thing - it carries purchases and the meaning of life and lets me save the earth by shopping. But few, if any, of history's great manifestos were printed on a shopping bag, and this one... I'm not buying.

Things that are a pain in the neck

1. The pain between your shoulder blades. You may think you have been stabbed in the back, but unless your name is Caesar, that sharp pain is probably due to a 'pinched' nerve in your neck (and not your best friend!). It is called cervicogenic dorsalgia, fancy for 'back pain originating in the neck', and it is very common. Et tu, Brute?

2. Tailgaters. Especially when you have to keep checking your blind spot, because some jerk is attempting to drive into your trunk.

3. The pain in my neck. Really, it hurts! Fortunately I was able to get an adjustment of my own today. Someone needs to treat the chiropractor!

4. Your flat pillow. Your really fluffy pillow. Your 4 pillows stacked one on top of the other. Find a pillow, one pillow, that gives you sweet dreams and neck support. I like a cervical pillow with memory foam.

5. Necking. Actually, I have yet to see a patient injure their neck while necking. So consider making out a chiropractically safe activity!

6. Headaches. Neck tension and misaligned vertebra in the cervical spine are a major cause of headaches.

7. The albatross around your neck.

8. Rubbernecking. It causes 16% of distraction-related traffic accidents, and whiplash is another major cause of neck pain.

9. Younger sisters. (Hi Pam!)

10. Trying to think of a 10th witty and relevant item to complete this list. Yeesh...

Lunch is on me...

Pregnancy is said to be a beautiful and wondrous time in a woman's life. And it is. But in retrospect, it is also a bloated and hormotional time in a woman's life, and let's face it... a totally surreal and bizarre time in said woman's life. You not only double in size, but in number of people.

As my pregnancy crept ever so slowly to an end, I thought a lot about whether I would miss the experience of nourishing this other, of being able to provide everything it (he) needed to survive. Then I started having contractions, and 3 short weeks later Oliver was born. We got off to a great start breast-feeding, and while nursing him before dawn it dawned on me - aside from baby Gap, I was still the sole provider of everything he needed. Just the method of delivery changed.

I love nursing. I love that my son's chubby thighs are from me (my milk and my genes!), I am privileged to spend every few hours (a little less privileged in the middle of the night) cuddled up, bonding, nourishing... it is lovely. I didn't know I'd enjoy it this much - it surprises me still. It is sort of like discovering that what was previously only decorative is suddenly functional - like your favourite bracelet is also a GPS unit. Breasts - pretty and useful! Who knew?

I realize how fortunate we are, Oliver and I, to have navigated nursing with only a few minor injuries*. This 'natural' process is not so natural or easy for some, and I urge those mamas who have trouble nursing but want to forge ahead to seek out a lactation consultant. Irrespective of how you feed your baby, from the bottle or the breast, poor posture at mealtime will cause discomfort in the upper back; do this every two hours and it can become agonizing. Add in a lack of sleep and bending over a change table... and you get the picture. I'll leave the technicalities of nursing to Janice, my favourite doula, prenatal educator and breast-feeding instructor, but allow me to draw on my dual qualifications as a nursing mother and a chiropractor to offer a little help and some relief for nursing pain and discomfort unrelated to the chestal region.

• Breast-feeding moms, nature and the laws of engorgement are on your side, since they dictate that you hold the baby on alternating sides with each feed. Bottle feeding moms (and dads!), on the other hand will usually pick a preferred side, leading to asymmetry and more pain. Another downside to single-sided feedings is that the baby may develop neck muscles asymmetrically from turning their head in one direction. Consider switching sides, even if holding the bottle in the other hand feels odd at first.

• The most useful prop is a nursing pillow - especially in the early weeks when the baby is tiny. It helps bring the baby closer to the breast, to prevent hunching over. There are a variety of different types, so find the one that works for you. Mine was polka-dotted, that worked best for me. Really any pillow will do, you don't need a cleverly-named one (really - breast friends?) to support things (the baby, arms, low back). Stack pillows under and around yourself and the baby until you are comfortable. It's not rocket science.

• Put a pillow or other support in the small of the low back - maintaining this curve is key. When you collapse through the low back, your shoulders are thrust forward and the neck must compensate to stay upright. Keep the lumbar curve supported, and your upper back and neck will fall into a better position.

• Get a massage! Have someone watch the baby, or ask if you can bring the baby along (they sleep so much in those early days, and many therapists will be happy to accommodate you, especially during slower periods in the middle of the day). At the very least, have your partner attempt a shoulder rub. If anyone deserves a massage, it is a new mom. 'nuff said.

• Get an adjustment! Really... just do it. Your posture has experienced so many changes throughout pregnancy, hormonal changes have relaxed and tensed your ligaments, you now carry around an ever growing load of baby... the stress on your spine is significant. A chiropractor can restore mobility, reduce pain, get things back to normal, whatever that is! The relief from that first adjustment after baby arrives is enormous. Moms... get your back adjusted. Aaah.

• Relax the shoulders. There is a tendency to raise the shoulders when we don't need to! This shoulder hiking happens when feeding the baby, holding her, rocking her... but your shoulders are not needed! Relax them. You can hold the baby just as well with them down, away from your ears.

• Get comfortable at the start of a feeding, so that 10 (or 45!) minutes later you aren't going numb or in pain from holding the baby in an awkward position. In a cradle hold, soften the shoulders and rest your elbow on a pillow, not against a hard arm rest. A food stool is great too, for taking pressure off the legs and low back. In a side lying breastfeeding position, put a pillow under the neck and another between the knees. If Mama's not comfortable, NO ONE is.
  

• Experiment with different feeding positions. Bottle feeders, switch sides, or have someone else take over a feeding or two to give yourself a break. Breast feeders, there are many positions to try, and even though you may have a favourite, mixing it up may prevent muscle overuse. And be creative - you don't need to use the positions listed on a website or breastfeeding pamphlet. Whatever gets the baby to the breast comfortably is good. Lying across your chest, sitting on your lap... really, whatever works, works. Oliver will quite literally latch in any position possible. I once fed him suspended from the ceiling by a series of bungee cords.

Hopefully meal time is an enjoyable one, for all parties involved. Luckily, my young son has a sophisticated palate and really enjoys eating; indeed I am consumed with joy.

*don't let the baby latch onto your chin. It may seem funny at the time, but you will regret it.

I love food...

When I met Devon Strachan, a holistic nutritionist who ALSO loves food... well, it was like a match made in heaven... or a kitchen... or a restaurant. The point is, I love food, she loves food, ergo, I love Devon. She and I will sit down and start to chat about food, real food versus the fake food we tend to eat, how to cook food, how to use food to be more healthy... food, glorious food, and whad'ya know, it is 2 hours later, and boy am I hungry.

So I did the only thing I could - I made her a part of the team at RHCC.

And the best part? Each week, she brings a snack for everyone to try. A healthful snack. An easy-to-make snack. A delicious snack. But most importantly, SHE BRINGS A SNACK.

Today Devon treated the patients of RHCC to the following concoction. If you weren't in the clinic to sample Devon's version, feel free to make it yourself at home!

Olive Tapanade
How to make it:
Blend 1 can black olives, 2 cloves raw garlic, 2 tablespoons caper juice in food processor .
Remove goat cheese from fridge to soften.
Spread thin of layer goat cheese on the bottom of the bowl,all of the olive spread, a second think layer of goat cheese, top generously with capers.
Serve with whole grain bread or crackers!

Why to make it:
Olives: good source of vitamin E
Capers: powerful antioxidant
Goat cheese: promotes good bacteria in digestive tract
Garlic: naturally anti-bacterial

Unfortunately we were too hungry to take the picture before diving in... enjoy!